Teen Rebellion
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People who are bitter toward their parents often are fixated on what their parents did or didn't do to them. In counseling, it is pertinent to ask, "What did you do to your parents?" "How did you treat them?" "Did you respect and obey them, or were they someone standing in your way whom you desired to get around?"

For children and teens are active agents in the relationship between parents and children. They have sinful hearts and selfish motives. God gives children the command to obey and to honor their parents. But if they set their will against their parents' will, pursuing their own agenda without due regard to what their parents or God wants, then their rebellion will be met with resistance from their parents.

The parents legitimate role is to drive away the foolishness bound up in the child's heart with the rod of discipline. Admittedly, parents may resist the self-will of their children in the flesh or in the Spirit. But either way, if the child is not repentant, he tends to view the parent's actions as unjust, selfish, and controlling. The child's unrepentance breeds resentment and bitterness.

If a child, whether still young or now grown up, will take responsibility for the pressure they put on their parents through self-will and rebellion, then they can begin to see their parents in a new light. As they take responsibility, God's grace begins to flow into their own hearts, freeing them from their bitterness. A new appreciation of their parents emerges and true maturity and humility comes forth.

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