The Wife As Navigator
(Hear the Audio Form of this Vignette)
(Back to Vignettes: Table of Contents)
(Printer Friendly Version)

When God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him" (Gen. 2:18 NAsv), He revealed that man is not complete within himself. "Alone" means "incomplete, a part but not the whole." God's provision for wholeness was Eve, a helper suitable to him.

In our experience, the major area where a man is incomplete is in understanding and navigating his relationships with his wife and family. While most men pride themselves that they handle relationships from a logical, factual, rational point of view, their wives often say their husbands are clueless and miss most of the heart level dynamics. And in so doing, they make a mess of things.

In counseling couples, we often see the husband diligently, intently, and sincerely trying to find within himself answers and solutions for the problems in their relationships. It never crosses his mind to ask his wife, even though she's tried many times before to help him see what's going on. His help is not within himself but is sitting beside him, in the person of his wife.

As he looks within himself for answers, he tends to shut her out. The result is that he renders himself "helpless," meaning "without help in himself; destitute of the power or means to assist or relieve himself."

If he will humble himself, and open his heart to his wife, he will receive the help God has provided him through her. And he and his wife can work together with God to resolve conflicts, heal wounds, and get on with the business of doing life together.

(Back to Top)