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"Helper"
means "To Prevent"
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In seeking to understand what it means for a wife to be a
Ahelper@
suitable for her husband, it is useful to consider how the word
Ahelp@
is defined in the English language, and then to see how that aspect of
Ahelp@
plays out in the relationship between a wife and husband. One definition
of Ato help@
is Ato prevent or to hinder.@
These words mean to obstruct or to intercept the approach or access of
something; to stop, interrupt, or impede something from moving forward
in time or progression.
A wife often functions in this aspect of
Ahelper@
when she sees a potential problem or threat on the horizon, especially
something that imperils the relationships or well-being of her family.
Looking Awell to the ways of
her household@ (Proverbs
31:27), she approaches her husband and sounds the alarm. She says,
AI see a problem down the
road.@ She wants them to look
at it together, get into agreement, pray, and take action to prevent or
hinder the problem from occurring or growing.
Unfortunately, when she begins to speak, what often happens is that
her husband gets defensive, offended, or annoyed. He may react to her
timing, or her tone, or just to the fact that she intruded with an
issue. This is especially true if he is part of the issue concerning
which she is sounding the alarm. He may think,
AShe likes to worry, she
thrives on problems, she makes mountains out of molehills.@
He doesn=t see what she sees,
so therefore, it isn=t there,
and furthermore, AShe doesn=t
know what she is talking about.@
With that, she is still stuck seeing the problem and is left to deal
with it, as best as she can, alone. Having been ignored or rebuffed by
her husband, a wife sometimes mistrusts, suppresses, or stifles her
discernment. The overall result is that God=
s provision of early warning is, to some degree, rejected and nullified.
On the other hand, if her husband understands and accepts her
function as Ahelper,@
he will trust her and think, AGod
is alerting my wife to see something I don=t
see.@ And he will say to her,
AHelp me see what you=
re seeing, and let= s deal
with it together.@ Then,
forewarned and forearmed, they lay hold of God=
s provision for victory.
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